The Calm Before the Storm: That Time I was at the Robert Randolph and the Family Band’s Concert in College

 I’ll admit, I’m not really a huge concert goer.  Plenty of my friends are big into going to concerts, and I have been to some, and have enjoyed going to concerts.

More times than not though, it’s just not my scene.  I love music, but I find it hard to hear myself and others talk when I’m at concerts or clubs.

I do tend to enjoy going to concerts when I’m there.  I’ve been to rock and hip-hop concerts.  I even once went to the Pageant to attend a concert with a good friend of mine, and several other friends to listen to a group of rock bands that I had never heard of before, and I still enjoyed the concert.  Mostly though, I aim to have a good time, but it’s also important to know when to call it a night.

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In school, you have your good days, your really good days, your bad days, and awful days.  Also, sometimes you have days that end up being right in the middle of all that.

Just weeks before I was about to graduate from college, my friends wanted to attend a concert that was being hosted on my campus.

When I was a senior in college, I went to hang out with a couple of my friends that wanted to go to the Robert Randolph and the Family Band concert.  I’ve heard their music, and it’s pretty good.  I've heard their music on sports' programming, before.  My friends were much harder core fans of their music than me, though.

My friend was a student-athlete that was on a collegiate sports team, was a studious individual that had been getting very good grades, and he also wrote articles in the school newspaper.  I enjoyed hanging out with him, and he was a laid back, good-natured guy that could tell jokes effortlessly.  

Me and my friends had gotten into the habit of writing for the school newspaper.  I myself had written a few articles for the school newspaper. I had read some of my friend’s older articles and had enjoyed them, as I found them at times to be both insightful and humorous. 

The article he wrote two months before the concert, I felt to be one of the funniest articles I have read from him.  It was all the more impressive, because I had hung out with him in his quest to find a new sandwich at Subway’s.  I saw him kneel down after his favorite sandwich was sold out, and I was wondering if this was a comedy routine he was doing, but it was clear that he wanted to order his favorite sandwich.  It was at that point where another friend had calmly recommended him to try a new sandwich that he was eating instead.*

(I had tasted the Seafood Sensation once before, and I’ll admit, I liked it the first time around.  The second time around I tasted it, it wasn’t so good.  Every subsequent time afterwards, that sandwich has seemed to taste more and more mediocre to me.  But I do like some of the other sandwiches that Subway has now.)*

A week before attending this concert, I had read an opinion piece (meant for comedy and satire) that my friend wrote that basically ripped into fraternity and sorority culture.  As a good friend of his, I felt that he had meant no harm, and I had no real dog in this fight.  I had once joined a fraternity as a freshman (after a friend that lived in the same residence hall as me invited me to eat wings with him) and voluntarily left under my own volition and accord about a month later.  

When I read it, I thought it was a strange, silly little piece, and put the newspaper away, thinking not much of it at all. 

However, it turned out that damage done by the article he wrote had been much greater than anticipated, as the fraternities and sororities had felt insulted by the article he wrote in the school newspaper.  I didn’t really know how other people really felt about his article until when I got to the concert.  My friend was with his girlfriend, who I was also good friends with, and he warned me about some fraternity people that would come after him.  I didn’t really know how serious this was until when we were there at the concert itself.

I just thought this would be a laid back night, like the time when I was a freshman, and had hung out with some friends at the free Ben Folds 5 Concert at the Simon Rec Center.  I thought, maybe one or two people at most would’ve been mean to my buddy, but I had no real clue as to what would happen that night.

I had joined my friends there in the outdoor concert, which was basically held in a parking lot, and I was prepared to have fun.  

Suddenly, I saw 10 to 20 angry people show up, as they suddenly surrounded us, as they were filled with rage at the article that my friend wrote.  They felt the article mocked and demeaned them, and so they basically stormed at us to confront my friend.

This was like, right out of a horror movie.  I wanted to help my friend, and I wanted to stand up for him to tell the others that he meant no harm by the article he wrote.   

I wanted to be the good friend, the bodyguard, and the protector.   

But I froze in the moment, as I was essentially paralyzed and overcome with fear, and I couldn’t process my emotions as this was happening in real time.  Experiencing all of this in real time was too much for me to handle in the moment.

I was frightened and felt threatened by the taller, bigger guys that ganged up on us, and there were some big dudes that yelled at and pointed fingers at my friend.  I thought we were going to get jumped, and there certainly wasn't enough security to prevent that from happening if they were going to decide to do that.

After what seemed like an eternity, it seemed as if they all had walked away, and I was beginning to feel relieved that nothing big seemed to happen.  I was ready to hang out with my friends again to have a good time.  Unfortunately, that was when the worst of the night was about to happen.

The fraternity members had stormed off, as I had just watched my friend get belittled and cursed at, and I thought the nightmare was over.  I wanted to get back to hanging out with my friends.  I wanted to have a good time.  Little did I know, we were in for an unwelcome surprise moments later.  

Suddenly, a short, Caucasian man with glasses walks up to us.  He appeared to be alone and by himself, and this was seconds after the fraternity members had seemingly left.  

I had never seen this man before, and to me, he just looked like some ordinary college kid.  When he walked up to us, at the time, I didn't feel threatened by his presence.  I didn’t know he was affiliated with the fraternity group that had given my friend hell earlier.

He asked my friend about his name, but he said it in kind of an aggressive manner.  

It was at that instant, that that guy sucker punched my friend squarely in the face.  

I couldn't believe what I just saw.  I was stunned, shocked, and distraught, and I couldn’t begin to process the horror of what I just saw.  Inside, I felt like a nervous wreck, but outwardly, I must have looked calmer than expected somehow.

My friend’s girlfriend was brought to tears, and she immediately confronted that guy about his actions, and the agony he suddenly created with a sudden, rash impulse that he decided to make.

I felt despair for my friend, remorse for not being able to defend him, and upset at myself for not having stepped in to try to quell things.  

But I’m not entirely sure if I would’ve been able to get the other side to calm down.  I'm not really good at doing that sort of thing.  Getting people to see and understand the other side of arguments has been something I've tended to fail at, even though I usually mean well by what I'm doing.

I wonder if I had acted instead of if I froze in fear, if I would’ve helped or made the situation worse.  Unfortunately, I felt powerless in the situation, and I felt like there was nothing I could do.

At this point of the night, the music was an after thought.  I was overwhelmed by the trauma and the grief of having been in this situation, but I felt like I was unable to communicate what I or my friends had just experienced.  

Days later, my friend wrote a retraction piece, apologizing for the article he wrote and for the pain he caused for his opinion piece on fraternities and sororities.  

I usually have a good time when I go to concert.  But that night still sort of haunts me.  I wanted to be there for my friends, and I felt like I let my friend down because I didn’t step in to prevent him from getting sucker punched.  I just wish things had never came down to that point, and that the other party had not reacted in that sort of way.

Well, I felt like my night was ruined, but maybe it was a learning experience.  Sometimes, words can hurt, but actions may speak louder, and never judge a book by it’s cover.  

I wish the situation had never gotten to that point.  I'm also not entirely sure how to end or wrap up this article, unfortunately.

I guess it's important to know that there's a cause and an effect, and it's (usually) better to be cautious than to do things rashly, especially when you're out in public.